Notes on a Meeting with my Bagshnar ("teachers")
The meeting was scheduled to start at 12. It is now 12:40 and we haven't started yet. We were reprimanded with ver fierce tones (at least what I could gather. The only words I could clearly make out were "bad teachers," "failed exams," "if the students are bad, we are bad.") However, this arrangement is quite nice as the body heat keeps me warm and the woman next to me smells better than the dung smoke that flooded my ger this morning. The director has finally arrived.
It is 12:50. Only they can't seem to get the powerpoint working (though this is understandable I suppose as 4 different people have been working on it for 20 minuets. I know what the problem is and how to fix it but I dont exactly know if its my place to interfere.)
ZA!!!! Success at 12:52. The bagshnar are note taking most furiously, copying the slides word for word, as a woman reads the slides aloud. I can't understand a thing other than stray words, so I let my mind wander where it will go. Today is plesently unwindy. Meaning I won't have have a dust coated body upon my return to my ger. Nor will I have to sweep agin when I get home. Its only been 2 times today, and one was because I had trouble with my ash box this morning as I made my dung fire. Dung smells ver nice, almost sweet when it burns. Though every now and then it smells like actual dung. Sweet I understand something!!! They are talking about student enrollment (age 2-6 59% attend kindergarden; age 7-15 76.1% attend school, etc.) Mongolian schools recently made a change and students go to the 11th grade (as of 2006 I believe, maybe). My schools 11th graders have just finished thier finals.. There are about 25 studends in the entire grade. they have gone to school together their whole lives. It is interesting to see what a tight knit group it has make them into. I can not relate to this in the slightest. The man next to me has VERY shiny shoes. They are G-Man brand shoes. I have never heard of this brand. I wonder how he manages to keep them so clean when we live in a literal dust bowl. Some students visited my ger and looked at my photo album. My siblings and I were "kuukultai" children. This means doll. I think its a Russian word. The presenters foundation is about 3 shades paler than her actual skin. She could be the mother of the Mongolian Addams Family.
It is 1:15.
It is 1:20 and I've lost feeling in my butt buy have become painfully aware that all I've had to eat today was a small muffin at 8 o'clock this morning.
1:25 - a teacher enters. For a moment I hope she is here to anounce a break out of plague (I suppose something less severe would work as well) and that we must leave in a calm and orderly fashion. Alas, she is merely late for this mindnumbing meeting/presentation thing.
1:27 - the woman on the bench next to me just farted. I felt a little vibration but thankfully it doesnt smell. No one is disturbed by this gastral explulsion. She doesnt say "excuse me." Flatulance is a natural part of life here and there are no norms that make it in anyway taboo. Oh wait I was wrong, the smell was only delayed. I hade a laugh in an awkward cough. The accountant gives me a strange look and smiles his jack-o-lantern smile back at me when I flash him a toothy grin.
1:38. Powerpoint problems once again. The presenter doesn't stop her speech as 2 teachers fiddle with it and argue in barely hushed tones. I suddenly regret the cup of milk tea I drank right before the meeting as I now need to pee something fierce.
1:42-need to pee has passes. Am wondering exactly what shade of blue the desks are and shat they taste like. I think my brain is being invaded by something...my stomach...yeah thats probably it.
1:45 - computer has gone crazier than me and I think tha... OH SWEET POTATOE PIE SHE HAS FINISHED!!! IM FREE!!!
1:46 - my rejoicing came too soon...there is a second presenter. i think my inner child is being smothered to death with a dusty rag that smells of sheep stomach stew.
1:53 - I notice a sign on the wall. More of a poster really. About conversions. 10mm=1cm, 1kg=1000g, 1 year=360 days, 1cubicmeter= WAIT!?!?!?!? 360 DAYs???!?!?! What happened to the other 5 days? What about leap year? Giddy Gods trousers, I've entered into an alternate plane of existance. Maybe these missing 5 days are spent in meetings like this one... I feel the start of a panic attack coming on.
2:10 - A man comes in and takes pictures. The flash draws me in from my daydreaming. I was on a train with Bob Dylan singing the Quarter Rap. I could go for Polly and Pete's Pizza Delight.
2:13 - Another teacher arrives late. How I envy this brown wrinkled little old mongolian man, not only because he hasn't been sitting here for 2+ hours but he has a really cool hat too.
2:21 - they showed pictures of an "American" Elementary classroom, at which point everyone looked at me. I smiled as if to say, "yes, this is what I grew up with!" However, it didnt really resemble any elementary class I've ever learned in. If I had any will left I might feel a bit of shame at this white lie...as it is I just want to go to an outhouse ASAP.
2:30 - we are finally done. I'm so happy. Now to pee!
2:45 - just kidding we are still here...never want to sit again
2:53 I'm standing. It's over. Man alive does it feel good!
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