Bayartai “Goodbye”

The time has come to say goodbye, as I am no longer a Peace Corps Volunteer. I can hardly believe that it has been over 2 years already. The time went by so fast, especially these past few months (in which I blogged nothing because nothing really happened). So looking back what did I get out of it all? Was it worth it? I'd have to say yes. I have this weird habit of writing letters to myself at various time marks in the future, and I wrote on shortly after swearing in as a volunteer to read at COS (close of service). Here is an excerpt of the 2 page letter:

"How are you doing my lovely? This chapter of your life is now over and I hope I made it a good one for you. Has it been two years, or did you extend to three? It's only been three months and already Mongolia has changed me. I am slowly beginning to accept and embrace the woman I am, and am learning that growing up doesn't mean growing old. Instead of my usual assault of questions, this time I shall simply write what I want from life and hope it will ease the sorrow that leaving Mongolia is bound to bring you. … I want to become fully comfortable with my clumsy awkward self. I'm too loud, too crazy, too Cassandra, but I want to love that. … I am 22 now. You are 24, possibly 25 and on the cusp of returning to America. What are you going to do once you get stateside??? I have no real clue, 2 years is such a long way off. …Oh man, you are soooooo old! I hope you don't feel or look it. I am on the brink of this grand adventure and simply can't wait for it to begin. I know it will be difficult at times. I know there will be silly teas, and bitter ones, and heartbreaking ones too. But you made it out alive, which means I will too!! Oh, I want a Mongolia scar, and a collection of hilair and utterly Cassandra stories! You are so lucky, do you know that? I hope you do. Look at all you have come from, all you have been through. … I know you will forgive me for the mistakes I'm bound to make. I know you will never fail to amuse me even in the 'bluest of 3 o'clocks.' I know you are a good, loving, genuine woman of frustrating quality. You did it!"

While the specifics of my hopes for my PC service were not exact, the overall experience was all I was hoping for and more. My Country Director told me that of all the years he has been working as a PC Director (more than 7) that I've been the most difficult to get to COS, but in a good way. May who have been faced with switching sites, family deaths, repeated illnesses, host agency problems, any number of the things that I have faced usually end up early terminating. He apparently heard stellar reports from my 2^nd site, and was proud of me. I'm proud of me. I hope that if the Cassandra of the past who wrote that letter would be proud of me.

So this is goodbye. It's been a long journey. I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I will be keeping a personal blog for any who still wish to follow my misadventure, hear my random rants, and whatever else I may post. That blog can be found at: http://cassandra-anu.blogspot.com/