I do not think this word means what you think it means.

As my time in Peace Corps draws to an end it almost seems to be speeding up. Nothing new is happening, but the familiar (random visits from my 6 year old "sisters", being followed by the 1-eyed dog, taking naps in the student dorms, etc.) have become ever more precious as soon it will be over and I will no longer be a PCV but rather a RPCV (Return Peace Corps Volunteer)...and life will never be the same.

We had our COS (Close Of Service) Conference last week and it was most mellow. (Though not for everyone as you could definitely smell the partiers the morning after, and I'm pretty sure at one point someone peed on our window). I went to one session about returning to America and the difficulties RPCVs can face. It was nice to be able to give tips and stories having been back to America during my service, and know just how strange things can be (You can flush toilet paper?!? An entire grocery aisle of ketchup?!? They not only have food but actually have all the food listed on the menu?!?) Yet it was really wired since I wont be going back to America for at least another year (having officially signed my contract to be a Primary Teacher). But I know that it will be much different; living in the city, having a salary, having a shower, not being able to text or call my fellow PCVs (aka "family") whenever I want. Its scary. But COS helped to reassure me that while the physical distance may increase, the relationships don't have to decrease.

One bad thing about COS was that I got addicted to this awesome show DEXTER. Most of you know about it probably, but if you don't its about a man named Dexter who is a blood splatter analysis for Miami PD by day and a serial killer by night. However, he only kills other serial killers...so is he the "Bay Harbor Butcher" or "The Dark Defender"? Its highly entertaining, the filmography is stunning, and the forensics of it isn't completely off. So once again my interest in forensics has flared up, and got me thinking about what do I want to be when I grow up. I love teaching. I loved forensics. Maybe I'll chose my future career one of these days...

The conference itself encompassed the essence of Mongolia most excellently. We stayed at a beautiful tourist camp called The Mongolian Secret History Camp, where we stayed in Luxury gers on a hillside field complete with randomly grazing cows. (Sadly after 2 years my fear of cows has not lessen. Calves are cute. Cows are terrifying). The first afternoon was disgustingly hot. I couldn't even nap it was so oppressive. So of course, Mother Nature decides to juxtapose day one with day two and its 5+ inches of snow! There was some worry about being snowed in and not making it back to UB safe, but the third and final day dawned delightfully and soon we found ourselves rocketing down the "paved" road to UB. But since no trip in Mongolia is complete without transportation difficulties, we ended up losing our back tire just inside the city. As I was sitting in the very last row on the side the tire came off I had the perfect view of it popping off, skimming a truck on the side of the road, wildly bouncing and rolling for about 100 yards at which point it meet/demolishes a fence before continuing another 200ish yards. Insane! Props to the driver though for not tipping the bus. Upon finally arriving back to the PC office I took my Mongolian Language Proficiency Interview, in which I scored an Intermediate High. I apparently missed Advanced because I" have good Mongolian and rich vocabulary. But one of the criteria is accuracy of the language." Read: grammar, or rather a lack their of. Whatever, I'm happy with my score and am understood, which is more important in the long run.

As of now I'm pretty much done with my PC work. I've some volunteer projects in my town and will be slowly moving out of my ger and into my apartment in the city. I'm also going to visit my host family in July! I can't believe I only have 2 months left....inconceivable.

"What do you mean bucket?"

So I find myself back in my town. Apparently PC was not fully aware that I was doing the seminar, despite the fact that I was totally open about it and what not. Oh well. What will be will be. The only really sucky part is the fact that I can no longer go on my vacation. I was bummed but then since there was nothing I could do about it I just let it go. So I find myself back in the soum, and I have to say that life is rather boring and slow. I’ve gone from working about 10hour days, to teaching like 3 40minuet classes a day. I have nothing to do. Luckily the weather is gorgeous!!!!! I walk about an hour every day. The other day I found myself finally climbing to the top of the mountain next to my home, and visiting the Buddhist shrine. It was so beautiful up there. I will have to borrow a camera one of these days and take pictures.

We recently had some visitors from Thailand who are going to help our school with a greenhouse project. I served as an informal translator. They seemed so shocked that I lived without running water, and had to bucket bath. This also seemed to shock the one American teacher at the Seminar. They couldn’t quite grasp the concept. So I present to you…

~The Art of the Bucket Bath~

First, buy a bucket. Mine is neon pink and about 50cm in diameter, and 7cm in height. You can go for something in a different color. Unfortunately there are no larger sizes. Next, go to the well and get water. If you are lucky, time the trip to coincide with your 11th grade boys’ trips to the well as the will inevitably offer to carry your water back to your house. If not you will have to roll the giant water canister all the way home, and pull you back out trying to lift it over the door frame into your ger. If you have electricity, the next step is to fill your instant water boiler with water and boil it. (Note: if you don’t have one of these yet, get one. They are glorious!). If there is no electricity, make a fire and heat water on the stove. First you must wash your hair. If you are efficient you can accomplish this with a grand total of 2 cups of water. One to wet your hair, and one to rinse. Then throw out the dirty hair infested water. Next fill your bucket with about two inches of water. Squat next to the bucket (remember you have no table) and wash face, ears, neck, and upper torso. Then sit in the bucket, and wash your lower torso. Finally stand in the bucket and wash your legs and feet. TADAAAAA!!!! That’s it! You are now, more or less, so fresh and so clean clean! Throw out this water, rinse your bucket, and you are completely done.

A Mongolian Children's Folk Tale

Once upon a time there were four animal friends walking in the forest. A wolf, a fox, a hedgehog, and a rabbit. Suddenly, they found a bottle of vodka in the middle of the road! However, they thought that the bottle was too small to share amongst the four of them, so they decided that whoever got drunk the quickest would be allowed to drink the entire bottle themself.

"I get drunk after just one taste of vodka," said the wolf.
"I get drunk after just one smell of vodka," said the fox.
"I get drunk after just one look at vodka," said the hedgehog.
"I get drunk after just hearing about vodka," slurred the rabbit.

So the rabbit won and got to drink the entire bottle of vodka by himself. THE END.


Discuss.

"Ashgui dee" = GREAT!

Mongolian doctors....seriously....way to give me all that crazy unnecessary stress.

Apparently DC took a look at the images, and snuffed. "Humph, that little thing. It's nothing. 85% of people have such things in their kidneys. The pain was most likely from a low grade urinary tract infection, with some sand in there somewhere. Nothing to fret about, simply keep pushing fluids."

:::faints:::

However, all this worrying has made me reassess all the crazy stressfulness that is my life here in Mongolia. I don't need it. I will have to talk to the seminar people, and if they can't cut back my hours then I'm going back to the soum, or just taking a vacation and visiting Dornod and other friends.

Being healthy is such a nice thing.

Celebrated Gregory's birthday yesterday with my boyfriend. We had surprisingly delicious and cheep cake, instant noodles, and shared a beer. It was nice.

Tomorrow Never Knows...

...and apparently neither do the doctors here.

One says blood clot, one says cyst, still another says tumor...is it new, have I had it from before?

I'm tired.

Tomorrow is Gregory's birthday and I miss him.

I'm going back to the countryside tomorrow until we hear from Washington, and there are three possible answers:
1. Nothing to worry about just forget it for now/take such-and-such a medicine/etc.
2. We want to know more go to Bangkok.
3. We want to know more, we are medically separating you from PC and bringing you back to America.

I know being healthy is what is most important, I know this. But I'm just hoping and praying that they at the very least let me finish ... I only got 4 months.

Fingers Crossed.

Waiter, there is too much pepper in my paprikosh

Typing is difficult. I'm tired from not eating, from the drugs they gave me, from waking up extra early to be on time only to end up waiting for the Mongolians, and from the fact that I'm ready for all this to be over!!!!

I got my CT this morning. It would have been unremarkable if it wasn't for the fact that they exploded my vein. Okay explosion is an exaggeration, but they didn't put the catheter into my arm enough so when they started pumping the meds through the IV it burnt for a second before starting to gush out of my arm and all over the last of my clean shirts!!! (Thank goodness for the free box at Peace Corps, hooray free new shirt!) So I look at it for a minuet..."Hmmmmm, I don't know if this is what should be happening..." and begin frantically waving as this was our prearranged signal for something is wrong. The doctor comes in and asks whats wrong..."Ummmm... this" I say and point to my gushing arm trying not to pass out, and trying not to forget my Mongolian as they didn't know English, and my Mongolian is the same as my "interpreter's" English. So that arm gets de-IVd and swaddled up, and the other arm gets stuck...and immediately starts gushing blood! The nurse called over the doctor, he jiggles it around in my arm for a painful but thankfully brief moment, and voila! Its it...the scan finishes with out a hitch!

However, when it inevitably came time to analyze the image, we were told to come back after noon...O_o...seriously? You guys just exploded my arm..."I know you are not the official doctor but can you tell me what you think." "Well there is a mass, you can see right there" Okay, okay, we are not going to punch out the doctor. "Yes I know, but can you tell me exactly what you think it might be...should I worry?" "I will have the results for you after 12 o'clock" ... "Ooookaaay. See you later than." :::sigh resignedly and weakly shake head:::

But that's okay. Physically I feel much better. I'm on some kinda antibiotics specifically designed for the urinary system. This afternoon I will meet with the Urologist who should be able to give me answers.

Okay, pushing buttons has become too difficult. Will update again later.

The Mongolian word for Kindney is "Boor"

Yey! My kidneys, liver, bladder, etc. etc. are working perfectly!

I know this because of the IVP test. Which did not hurt at all!!! This may be because I am just such a beast at taking pain. But most likely its probably because they slipped me some drugs, which knocked me out and uber dilated my eyes for quite a while. In the wait for the results to be processed I was taken out to a restaurant and fed a bacon cheeseburger! Yum! Then we went back to the hospital to find out the news...

Boo! There is a low density mass in my right kidney. Maybe a blood clot??? We are calling it a blood clot, but who knows. No one...hence another trip to the doctors office! I'm actually starting to like it over there. They have these nifty Korean water dispensers that instead of Dixie cups have these flat paper cups that sorta slot open to put water inside...more like a mini envelope than a cup. It really space efficient.

Also a theory has developed as to how I got said "blood clot" in my kidney. I got accidentally knocked into a pile of luggage/boxes about 2 weeks ago. I noticed the bruise on my arm that night, but then had forgotten all about it by the time my killer pains had started the next day. Hm...maybe, maybe. The majority of kidney blood clots come from internal bleeding due to trauma, which will eventually go away by itself. However, it never hurts to double check. So after my CT scan tomorrow I also get to go visit a urologist!!!!

All of this is actually really interesting, and makes me miss my forensic anthropology days. The body is fascinating.